I knew it had to change….

Hey guys! Happy Friday!! Today I am continuing on my series with what prompted me to finally realize something had to give. As mentioned in my post “trapped in survival mode” I told you guys I was just going through the motions and I realized I had come to have a roommate marriage. However, my husband and I started working on that and took our marriage from BLAH to AMAZING through the strength of The Lord and some very good teaching. My man has always been a source of strength and encouragement for me, but its so different when you are true teammates and partners the way God intends. As our marriage strengthened I also realized I was starting to LIVE again. I was finding myself in The Lord, seeing myself as a valued wife and with these changes I realized I wanted to be healthy for myself and for my husband. I had vowed to love my man through sickness and health and good times and in bad. I came to realize that I wanted to be the best version of me I could be. I wanted to keep myself up for myself but also for my husband. Have you guys ever noticed that when we tend to live in survival mode we don’t care how we look until we go out with friends or an outing? We decide to look cute for church or when we are meeting friends yet we don’t care too much about fixing up for our husbands? Also notice when someone gets divorced what’s the first thing they do? Usually they start taking “me” time getting in shape, dieting, and etc. Why is human nature to want to fix yourself when you get out of your relationship instead of being the best you you can be for your spouse? I think its another form of deception. I do realize many of us women are home with our littles and we don’t need to be dressed to the hills each day. If I’m honest most days I’m in workout attire but I do brush my hair, my teeth, and put on a little make up 😉 My husband personally likes workout attire but with that said I don’t put on my most ragged clothes and look like I just rolled out of bed when he gets home. I want to give him the best version of me to come home to and to be honest it also makes me feel better about myself as well.
I don’t think we should overly focus on looks but think there is a level of accountability for spouses keeping their selves up for each other and I had became so lost I just stopped caring. I just was stuck. I didn’t care about ever being cute (and this is coming from a girl that used to love being put together) I didn’t ever want to be in pictures because I was so down and depressed. Guys that’s just not healthy and I was so overwhelmed. However, once I first and foremost realized my worth in The Lord and then my worth as a wife and a person I realized there is a healthy balance to caring. The Lord had been showing me I was indeed worthy and I could do this with his strength and I had a light bulb moment.
I went to the doctor in December 2013 and I was bigger than I had ever been. My DR didn’t say anything to me but there was that still small voice telling me I WAS worth it and it was time to make some changes. I came home and told my husband I wanted to get healthy and exercise daily. He was very supportive but at this point I had no idea how that was going to look! I just knew I had resolved to exercise each day no matter how I felt and what the scale said. I even made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t weigh for the first month as to not get discouraged and I was going to stick it out no matter what this time! I think you have to come to the point where you realize your worth and you are willing to push through with the strength of The Lord even when you get discouraged. Now, at this point I didn’t really have a plan in place for eating which is SOOOOO important as no amount of exercise will ever out train bad nutrition you simply can’t out train bad nutrition!!! So for the first month until about mid Jan of 2014 I just did 30 minutes of some form of cardio each day. However, mid Jan 2014 I had a revelation and I will share that on Monday. Happy weekend friends!


One thought on “I knew it had to change….

  1. It is a shame how we will let our appearance slide when we feel nothing we wear will make us attractive or flatter our body’s shape. We just go with whatever is comfortable to put on and live in, and then live in it for multiple days sometimes. “I can get another wearing out of this before I absolutely have to wash the stink and stains out of it.”

    Even when we were dating, we may not have always dressed to the nines, but we did wear what we thought looked nice on us and hopefully would appeal to our intended. Once married, a while, we may start dressing for comfort and what is comfortable can become dowdy or sloppy. Even athletic wear can look nice and be comfortable also. Letting yourself slide into slovenly wear only further exacerbates not feeling attractive or worthy of your mate’s attention. Then you are set up for roommate syndrome.


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